Sometimes it’s hard to know when technology is helping our relationships (“Let’s meet 4 coffee in 15. C U soon!”) or hurting them (“Uh, sweetie? Can you put the iPhone down and come to bed?”). So, in the interest of making sure you use your tech with love and for love, I wrote this piece in this month’s Self magazine. The best part? It’s a quiz! (Take the quiz on Self.com now and find out where you stand—or sit—while you type.)

Enjoy and treat your friends and favorite gadgets well,

—Amy