I mentioned a few posts ago that I wrote a short piece for Health magazine about Lori Loughlin’s health tips, all of which were useful and wise when it comes to staying healthy and losing weight. But my friend Todd Bush—best friend, hairdresser, writer—doesn’t have “staying healthy and losing weight” on his radar so much. When we get together, we order chicken parms with a side of fries and oversize beers. So I had to laugh out loud when he read my story and then emailed his own hungry take on her tips, which are worth reading for a laugh.

Lori’s story, as told by me…

Todd says…

“I have my own strategies you might be interested in.”

Make the most of my time: If I cram the food in my mouth fast enough I have time left over for seconds.

Don’t go it alone: If I gorge myself dining with other people I don’t feel like such a pig.

I’ve got a secret weapon: Sleep. If I sleep off a big meal I’m somehow able to eat all over again the moment I wake up.

Forget the word ‘diet’: I did.

Pass the asparagus: To the person next to you instead of putting any on your plate so you have more room for meat and potatoes.

Snack for energy: And for a million other reasons. Snack snack snack.

My anti-aging secret: Eat lots of greasy foods so it makes the skin oily reducing wrinkles.

At home skin savers: Your Mom’s awesome soap!

He’s right. My Mom does make “awesome soap,” which at this point is not for sale. Other than that, however, I can promise you that while Todd’s tips definitely won’t help you lose five pounds, you’ll live a darn happy, funny and full-filled life doing them!